Sharing in the Excitement setting up baby room
Pregnant women need to feel that they’re not alone in this life-changing event. You’re supporting your partner, giving her daily massages…what else could she possibly need? Lots of things, that’s what. But she really just needs a partner. Since she’s doing all the real work, the least you can do is be there for her and share in the excitement of having a child. This means helping with planning and having a voice on various topics having to do with the baby.
Helping with Healthcare
Go with your wife to as many doctor/midwife appointments as you can. Not only will you learn some things (and save her the trouble of explaining them to you later), but you’ll understand where she’s coming from if she has concerns about her healthcare provider or procedures. This happens more often than you might think, and she’s going to need you to help her think them through. Get comfortable with the terminology, understand what her hopes and expectations are, and be ready to advocate for her if issues arise. The things you learn through being involved in her prenatal care early on will be very helpful once she goes into labor.
Be the One Who Talks About the Baby
Few things make an expectant mother prouder than being able to show off the fact that her child’s father gives a damn. You don’t have to go on for hours about the colors you’re painting the nursery during poker night, but it’s really nice for her to have someone else sub in when someone asks for the eighty-eighth time, “How’s the pregnancy going?”
You should both anticipate that female relatives and friends will get very…um, involved?…as the pregnancy progresses. Mothers and mothers-in-law in particular want to give advice about every aspect of childcare, from the foods she should be eating to the type of breathing she should do through contractions to the car seat you should buy. This gets overwhelming as hell for a pregnant woman. You can win major hero points by stepping into these conversations and tactfully but firmly ending them.
Make Friends with the Belly man laying on pregnant wife’s belly
When your wife is pregnant, everything revolves around the belly. It’s just out there, calling the world’s attention, getting in the way of simple tasks like tying her shoes, preventing her from wearing her favorite clothes. This might shock you, but even the most excited mother-to-be sometimes feels some resentment toward this rapidly growing watermelon attached to her midsection.
You can really help with this by learning to love the belly. Touch it as it’s growing—a great approach is to hug her from behind and put your hands over it protectively. Even before the baby starts kicking, rub and stroke her belly when you’re alone together. Tell her how beautiful it is. You can even give it kisses, or talk to the baby “through” it. You might feel silly at first, but this means so much to your pregnant partner. It reassures her that you’re not just there—you’re engaged. It might seem like a simple thing, but it’s important and she will love you for it.
As the partner of a pregnant woman, it really doesn’t take much to be a hero. Just amplify the best skills and traits that you bring to your relationship, keep your eyes and ears open, and remember that the better you look after her, the better she can look after your new best friend.
And now that Junior is on his way, maybe instead of throwing a baby shower, you should opt for a “Dadchelor Party” instead.